Moving Forward

Today I vow to put the past behind. I will look forward to the future ahead and the life that I will create. God has a purpose for me and I will joyfully fulfill his purpose. In fulfilling his purpose I will enjoy the harmony that I bring to the world.

Long ago, I wrote a mission for my life and today I am determine to fulfill that dream.

I will live my life to make a difference in the lives of every person I meet.

If you could start your life over what would you do differently?

This is the age old question that people often ask you to make you reflect on the negativity in our history. I don't agree with this question for two reasons:
1) Everything in my past makes me who I am today
2) If you want to change something about your life, then change it

Let me back up a bit. Tonight I was surfing the net looking for someone to tell me how to change my life for the better. I have been in a depressive rut lately and this has been a common search. Ultimately, I know what I need to do and have even started creating a website to help others. However, the project has been put on hold because I can't get my shit together. So every few days I roam the internet in search of my "quick fix". And every night, the ending is the same. I already know how to turn my life around, its just a matter of taking charge and doing it.

Tonight, I came across a blog that asked "If you could start your life over what would you do differently?" And that's when it hit me.I would never start my life over;it is impossible. If you aren't getting the most out of your life...Change it!

You see, everything in my past makes me who I am today. I have made a lot of bad decisions and a lot of good ones. I have had people do me wrong and alter my life beyond my control. Others have helped me when it wasn't there place. All of these things have made me the charismatic person I am today. I would never go back and change these events. Be it true, I wish some of them had not occurred and I have lived things that I would not wish on enemies. However, every chapter in my life has only increased the suspense of how my story will end. (Don't worry, this will be one long novel)I would never take away from that.

If you want to change something about your life, change it! It truly is that simple. We all have events in our lives that we wish didn't occur, but we cannot change the past. No matter how much we want to "start life over"; it will not happen. All we can do is create the life that we desire and make it effective today. Not tomorrow, today! If you want more money, then start today making changes. Save money, cut back expenses and develop a plan. Take action and make it occur. If you want to be more organized; take an hour and develop your own personal system to becoming more organized.

There are tons of resources on the internet "getting it toether" including the website that I am creating with my dear friend Shannon (www.gittoday.net). However, you know what you need to do. Just do the immediate solutions that come to your head. You can research a better method after you take the first step- making the change yourself. If you don't take the initiative now, these sites will only delay your procrastination.

I am making a commitment right now to get my life in order and get out of this depressive rut. I know this will mean a lot of struggles. I have a lot of unresolved problems sitting on the table, but I am determined to get them resolved. Each day I will tackle one item off my master to do list. I will get all these procrastinated items done and begin creating a life I love!

Songs of my life

Using the title of one song I will describe myself.

Song that reminds me of my father:Elvira by the Oak Ridge Boys

Song that reminds me of my mother: Wind Beneath My Wings by Bette Midler

Song that describes my childhood:I Don't Care by Apocalyptica

Strength song:Stand In The Rain by Superchick

Depressed song:Changes by Kelly and Ozzy Osbourne (I actually like this version better than Black Sabbath)

Spiritual song:Every Breath You Take by Police

Love song: Amazed by Lonestar

"Warms your soul" song:Christmas Eve in Sarajevo by Trans Siberian Orchestra

Kick Ass song:Pour Some Sugar on Me by Def Leppord

Current location:California Dreamin' by The Mammas and Pappas

If my life was a TV show what would be the theme song:Cheers

Song describes my current love life: Miss Independent by Kelly Clarkson

Meaning in life: The Living Years by Mike and the Mechanics

Best advice: What About Now by Westlife

Crazy, just get up and dance song:Gonna Make You Sweat by C&C Music Factory

And in the words of Loney Tunes...That's All Folks!

And the search continues - total rambling

As many of you know, Manly Half and I are both on the job hunt. Thankfully, we were not let go, but rather it is our own choice. I quit due to the lengthy commute and his job, well it just sucks!

So today, I got a call from a contractor and learned he had not chosen to hire me. Prior he seemed really interested. I talked to him on the phone twice for interviews, took a personality test, and gave him my references. From the get-go he was concerned about how soon I could start because of the relocation and I think that was the killer. Still, I can't help but ponder why....Did I fail the personality test? Was it something I said? Why can't I get a job? This is the second time in a row that I have come up as the #2 candidate. Which the manly half so nicely reminded me tonight... "#2 is the first loser"...Butthole!

Then I reflect on my past jobs. I have been extremely fortunate in the positions I have held. I used to work for an ambulance manufacturer on their sales team. They were even going to let me telecommute, but I decided to become a stay at home mom. That was back in 2002. If I was still there I would be making $$$ now. My last job which I loved, was for community association property management. I was the portfolio manager's assistant. I was in the process of training to be a portfolio manager by the end of this year. However, the commute was actually costing us money. Money that we do not currently have. So another career I threw away.

I am hoping to find another property management job,but this time I am not going to settle for the first company that offers me a job. I want to stay somewhere and grow within the company. I am exhausted from the job hunting and relocations. I want to be settled and raise my family where they can develop life long friendships. That said, I don't care where my family relocates too, but this will be the last move for quite some time.

Bubbly Toes

Okay I haven't been blogging on a regular basis and I promised I would. So short and sweet here it goes....

This song rocks! It reminds me of my husband everytime I hear it. Although the lyrics are harsh it is all said in love and laughter. If you can't take a joke from those you love, then you need time for reflection. Although he has never referred to my "eyes as big as bubbly toes"...my boobs have been labelled "avocadoes in a sock". And it makes me laugh everytime. (The price you pay for having 3 awesome kids)

So I don't really have much to say, except I love this song. I guess my point is this: next time don't take a comment so personal; roll with it!